Wow, What A Year!!

Well, it's Christmas time again.  It is a very joyous occasion when we celebrate the birth of Christ.

This has been a year of personal reflection for me and I have found that my focus for too long was on materialism, getting ahead in life, going up the corporate ladder, achieving great things and reaching one milestone after another, and having the mistaken notion that I was invincible.

This year everything that I had worked so hard for and achieved came crashing down all around me.  What I thought was important suddenly changed.  Everything that I had worked so many years to achieve was gone in less than a year.  The greatest thing I lost was my health.  I am now in a position where I must re-evaluate my priorities.

Was climbing the corporate ladder that important?  Was trying to be everything to everybody worth it?  Was trying to live up to the monumental expectations forced upon me by myself and others even possible to achieve?  Was sacrificing my own self awareness for the sake of pleasing others really making a positive difference in people's lives?

Okay, so yes, by human standards I had achieved success but was it really??

What were the costs?

My costs were much greater than any gains.  I'm not just talking about finances.  I'm talking about life itself.  What did it cost my family all of those years I was gone on business trips and working 12+ hour days.  Sure, we had nice things, we had material blessings, we were beginning to build our retirement nest egg, everything seemed to be looking up for us, with no end in sight.  We were living very comfortably and were also giving to the church and other charities.  We gave to individuals in need and felt such a blessing to be able to do so.

So, why then would God allow all of this to come crashing down all around me?  My career was over, my health has deteriorated greatly and all of our assets are gone.

My focus was misplaced.  Instead of focusing on God and His greatness, I was focusing too much on what the world had to offer and based my success on human standards instead on God's standards.

Success is more than the accumulation of things, advancing up the corporate ladder, pleasing others, achieving wealth, etc...

Success is first and foremost found in Jesus Christ.  HE is the reason for living.  HE is to be our focal point in life.  HE is the one that has designed us and planned our days before we were even born.

This year, I have found that all I ever really needed was Christ.  My family is a gift from God that I cherish very much. I count myself very blessed indeed with a wonderful loving family.

So what if we had to sell all of our assets.  So what if we end up losing our house.  So what if we end up losing our car.  These are only things.  They are STUFF.  Stuff can be replaced.

What is REALLY important in life are the relationships we hold dear.  Our relationship to God.  Our relationship with our family.  Our relationship with our friends.  Our RELATIONSHIPS are the true assets in this life.

My relationship with God should be my prime focus.  If I focus on God, everything and everyone else will come together as it was designed to do according to God's will. 

Our lifetime here on Earth is only microscopic compared to all of eternity.  I made a huge mistake by misplacing my focus and desire on the things of this world.  Now I am paying that price dearly.

However, I also know that it's never too late to change.  I believe God loved me and my wife so much that he allowed all of this to happen to us so that we would be drawn closer to Him and realize that HE is the only one we should depend on.  Not ourselves or anyone else, but only HIM.  God is really all we need.

So, now what?  Like I said, it's never too late to change.  It is going to be a long road back to health for me.  I am going to have to learn to accept new limitations, I'm going to have to learn to compensate for what I have lost.  I'm going to have to learn to deal with my past, warts and all.  Even so, I know that in the end, it will be worth it all.  I like that old hymn that says:
 

"it will be worth it all, when we see Jesus, life's trials will seem so small, when we see Christ; One glimpse of His dear face, all sorrows will erase, so bravely run the race, 'til we see Christ."

How about you my friend?  Where is YOUR focus today?  During this Christmas season and the years ahead, why not realign your focus and set it on Christ.  Let HIM be your basis for success.  Allow Him to finish the work He has started within you.  Begin by reading His Word and praying to Him DAILY.  He will guide you all of the way if you follow Him.

"My Lord knows the way through the wilderness, all I have to do is follow, my Lord knows the way through the wilderness, all I have to do is follow.  Strength for today, is mine all the way and all I need for tomorrow.  My Lord knows the way through the wilderness, all I have to do is follow." 

Merry Christmas everyone!  Christ is the greatest gift and is all that we will ever need.

The journey continues...

Time of Reflection

Dear Readers,

Today, I've been doing some personal reflecting upon my relationship with family, friends and God. I am very blessed to have a close knit family who love one another despite their differences. We don't always agree, but that is okay, we agree to disagree and yet our love for one another remains constant.

This past year has been a time of mixed emotions ranging from euphoria to depression and everywhere in between. As I look back on my past year's experience, I realize that my focus was misplaced. In recent years, I was blessed with a nice income and material blessings. I was privileged to help others financially as the needs arose as well as giving to charities.

After suffering ill health for the past two years and especially a TIA (mini-stroke) which I suffered in August of 2008, my life changed dramatically. Thus, there have been many struggles as I have learned to cope with these changes and limitations. I was resistant and becoming rebellious against God blaming Him for my misfortune (which I'm ashamed to admit). In anger and disbelief, I prayed to God "... if you truly love me and care about me, I need tangible proof, show me that you love me... " . Over these past several months, God has done just that. Even though I have been unemployed since August 2008, God has provided for us in every way as He continues to display "tangible proof" of such love and caring.

Last Thursday (6/11), we sold our F-150 Pickup which represents the final major asset we've had to sell. It will be enough to get us through the month of June. Since August, we have been taking it one day at a time and doing everything we know to do and leaving the rest to God. Through the generosity of others and the selling of our assets, we've been provided for each and every month.

July 7th, Nita, I and a friend of ours will be going to Mayo's Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota for a diagnosis and treatment of my chronic health conditions. What will happen? Only God knows. I have learned however, to be at peace. What was important to me (material things, career, climbing the corporate ladder, etc... ) no longer have a priority in my life. The first and foremost priority I have in my life now is to be obedient to God. Nurturing my relationships with my family, friends and God are of prime importance.

The things of this world come and go. As the Bible says, ... The Lord gives and Lord takes away, bless-ed be the name of the Lord." So be it.

I wrote a while back about my struggle with learning to cope. I have found that the first step is to surrender my situation and all that relates to it to God. Second, I need to accept my situation for what it is knowing that I will probably never be able to return to the life I once knew. Therefore, I will achieve new goals and fulfill a new purpose in my life as the Lord leads me.

I had to come to a point of accepting the "death" of my old life and embrace my new life for whatever it may include. My good friend who responded to one of my latest posts did much to steer me in the right direction by recommending a book regarding a brain surgeon who suffered a major stroke and made a miraculous recovery. The book is her own account of how she struggled with many of the struggles I am going through today, but only not quite as traumatic. Her story is an inspiration and I thank my good friend for taking the time to respond to my request for suggestions on learning to cope. God uses different people in our lives to help us along our journey and in this particular case, He used my friend.

Are there areas in your life you are struggling with? Do YOU need to take time to reflect? How long has it been since you've had a good talk with God? If you feel distant from God like I did, it's not because He moved, it's because you or I move away from Him. Reach out to Him and He will reach out to you.

Priorities are what we make them. Our future is directly affected by those choices. It's NEVER too late to change course. I KNOW because I did and I'm GLAD I did. If you need to make changes in your life's direction and rearrange your priorities, PLEASE, don't wait too long. None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow.

No matter what perplexities you struggle with today, nothing is impossible with God. He DOES love you and care about you... He is waiting for you to surrender your struggle to Him just like he was doing with me. I encourage you to think on what I have shared and take that step of trust and faith... let God take control.

I regret not having done so sooner. I hope you will decide to give God control of your life and situation sooner rather than later. Life is too short to wait.

Becoming members of the WhiteRose Fellowship

Nita and I have been attending the WhiteRose Fellowship Church since April of 2008 and will be joining as full members tomorrow morning.

It is a wonderful church, non-denominational with a structure and environment patterned after the early church in the New Testament. It is very unlike any "institutional church" and certainly doesn't subscribe to what many would call "organized religion". It is only a little over 2 yrs old and has an Sunday morning attendance of between 90 - 115.

More about the church can be discovered at our website which is updated on a regular basis. Our call is to Love God, Love Others and Make Disciples. Check out our website and then come and pay us a visit sometime. We'd love to see ya. The website is simply: www.whiterosefellowship.org .

Are You Committed Or Surrendered??

Dear Readers,

As I continue my journey I have been contemplating the issue of coping with my limitations and I received one response from another reader/friend of mine which truly helped me see my situation from a different perspective. Then on Sunday, our pastor was preaching on the difference between being "committed" and "surrendered". We can commit to anything without being totally surrendered. For instance, I can commit my life to Christ and yet not surrender my whole life to Him. Holding areas of my life back from His control. The same is true with my situation. As I have said in an earlier post, the battle is God's, not mine. Therefore, it is important to not only "commit" my situation to God but totally "surrender" it to Him. I need to trust Him no matter what the future holds. Sunday, I surrendered my health condition and all that goes with it including my difficulty dealing with limitations to Him. Now I have a peace about whatever lies ahead. The friend that responded also helped guide me in the right direction by recommending a book written by a brain surgeon who had suffered a massive stroke and fought her way back. I find her story to be inspirational.

How about you? Are you struggling with issues that seemingly have no answers? Are you trying to live life on your own? Are you struggling with changing circumstances that are completely out of your control with an uncertain future? I recommend that you consider drawing closer to God and ask yourself, who is in control of your life and situation?? I challenge you to cross the line and put Christ in control by surrendering your life and your struggles to his care and keeping. He will NOT let you down.

Blessings to all.

Coping Skills????

Dear Readers,

Well, as I continue on my pilgrim's journey through life, I find myself faced with an unknown future. I believe that God has His hand upon me and will guide me safely through this portal, but what lies ahead only He knows for sure.

I find myself wrestling with many different emotions stemming from my inability to perform at the level I once did before my mini-stroke in August of 2008. Feelings of inadequacy and loss are paramount. I sense myself losing such things as my sense of independence, dignity and self worth. I once was one who contributed to society and to the lives of others and now I feel that I have become a burden to society and those around me.

Coping skills are slow in coming. There are many limitations that I am resisting and yet realize deep down that sooner rather than later I will need to accept them or continue to suffer from self imposed regret and failure. Success is measured in so many different ways. At this point in my journey, I'm not certain how to measure success. All I can see is the "inability" to perform at the level I once did and to me that is NOT my idea of success.

I find myself struggling more and more in this area..... if you, my readers, have any suggestions on how I might better cope with the multiple chronic health conditions with which I find myself, I would be open to hear your suggestions. Please be kind as this is a very sensitive area for me but yet I know I MUST get past this hurdle if I am to "succeed" in life under these new circumstances and physical limitations.

I will be heading for Mayo's Clinic in the near future and hope to find not only diagnosis but effective treatment and prognosis.

Those of you who know me personally know how difficult this is for me knowing the active lifestyle I once enjoyed. I am eager to hear from anyone who has some constructive "words of wisdom" in dealing with my fractured physical, emotional and yes, psychological state.

One thing I know for sure, God is still faithful and hasn't forsaken me. I know He cares and I am attempting to draw closer to him. I'm looking for "practical" steps which will aid in developing coping skills. Any suggestions/ideas out there???

Maybe you have experienced similar struggles in YOUR life, It would be helpful to hear how you managed to cope while facing major life changing circumstances.

Feel free to comment or email me. I'd love to hear from you. All are welcome to respond.

"NOTHING LEFT BUT GOD"

This has been a time of personal reflection for me these past several months. During this time, I have been moving through an enormous process of adjustments since my damaging TIA in August, 2008. While in this process, I have been gradually drawing closer to God. A few nights ago, I opened up a devotional called "Daily Bread" at random and came across the devotional dated for April 6, 2009. If you happen to have this devotional, you may want to read it in its entirety. What I want to do in this post is share the part that really made me think and helped me gain perspective on my present situation. It goes as follows written by Joanie Yoder, Daily Bread April-June Issue, 2009, dated April 6th:

"A wise Bible teacher once said, 'sooner or later God will bring self-sufficient people to the place where they have no resource but Him--no strength, no answers, nothing but Him. Without God's help, they're sunk'.

.....In today's Bible reading (2 Chronicles 20: 3-17), the people of Judah were also in trouble. They admitted their lack of power and wisdom to conquer their foes. All they had left was God!.... the people saw this as reason for hope, not despair. 'Our eyes are upon you' they declared to God (2 Chron 20:12). And their hope was not disappointed as he fulfilled His promise: 'The battle is not yours, but God's' (verse 15).

Are you in a position where all self-sufficiency is gone? As you turn your eyes on the Lord and put your hope in Him, you have God's reassuring promise that you need nothing more. - Joanie Yoder-

After reading this devotional, I realized it was describing MY experience since August and gradually all of those things in which I had mistakenly placed my security including "self-sufficiency" are being eliminated and now I find that I have nothing left but God to depend on.

Having said that, I thank the Lord He has blessed me with my loyal family and a few loyal friends. It is during trying times like these when a person finds out who his/her loyal friends are. Although some have deserted me in my time of need, I am reminded that all I need is God. I thank God for my wife, family and friends and His continued presence in my life.

I ask you the same question as the author,

"Are you in a position where all self-sufficiency is gone?"

Whatever you are battling today, remember that according to the Scriptures, "...the battle is not yours, but God's". (v.15)

Although I continue to struggle with developing coping skills to help me gain acceptance of my new limitations imposed on me due to my illness, I am now constantly reminding myself of this main truth that the battle is not mine, but God's.

There in lies my hope.

WHAT'S IN A SMILE???

Have you ever noticed how that in today's fast paced world, people are less likely to take time to pause long enough to exchange pleasantries, let alone really get to know one another as friends. I have found that to be so. Now-a-days, when you pass a stranger on the street or at the market and simply smile at them, they look at you strange like "what do you want with me?" or "why are you smiling at me?".

What ever happened to common courtesy and sharing a smile or nod of the head without thinking there is an ill motive behind it??

We live in a very different world today. It is very impersonal and individualistic. There are hurting people all around us and we rarely notice because we too are all caught up in our busy lifestyles and fail to pause long enough to show concern.

When was the last time you paused long enough to pick up the phone and call a friend or relative just to let them know you were thinking of them and to have a friendly chat?

When was the last time you took out a pen and paper and wrote a friendly personal note and mailed it to someone you care about?

When was the last time you invited someone over to your house for dinner or just to have some time of fellowship together?

When was the last time you told your friends or family that you loved them?

You know, one day, it will be too late and we don't know when that day will come for any of us. I have people in my life that I love and care about and I want to make a special effort to make sure they know..... life is too short to take our friends or family for granted.

How about you? Are there people in your life that are hurting and lonely? Why not slow down and pause long enough from your busy schedules, take the time and let them know how much they mean to you before it is too late. None of us have a guarantee of a tomorrow. Life is precious and so are relationships. Let's not take those relationships for granted.

It is written in the Scriptures that the greatest command is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind and to love your neighbor as yourself.

I for one do not want to neglect my friends or family even in the slightest way. I challenge you as well as myself to make it a point to slow down long enough to show love and concern toward our friends and family. In order to have friends you need to BE a friend.... therefore it's a "win-win" situation.

Just some food for thought as we live in a chaotic and fast paced world. May you enjoy each and every one of your relationships and PLEASE guard against taking any of them for granted but do everything you can to preserve them.

"People who need people are the luckiest people in the world!!!!"

TRUST IS FOUNDATIONAL

Dear Readers,

Last week I was at first shocked, angry and then hurt as I moved through the normal emotions that are associated with a person whose TRUST has been violated. You see, my trust was violated by a person I had considered a "real" friend. I had confided in this person with some personal issues that should have been and had been assured me would remain confidential. I found out "through the grapevine" that this person had shared some of the confidential information with others which put me in a very precarious position.

TRUST is foundational in any relationship whether it be a friendship or marriage. After much thought and prayer I have decided to forgive this person and remain friends, however, I will NOT trust this person with any more sensitive or personal information.

Trust is EARNED not given. I thought this person had earned my trust, but I was mistaken. Does this mean that I should never trust anyone anymore? Absolutely not! I still have one person in particular, besides my wife, with whom I can still share personal information. I'm sure there are others with whom I could share but the trust factor has not been established yet, but as they EARN my trust, I will not be afraid to share with them also.

One of my life verses has been and continues to be Proverbs 3: 5 and 6 which states in the King James Version :

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not unto thine own understanding but in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy paths."

One thing we can be certain of is that we are all human beings and we will fail. There will be times when we will fail others and others will fail us. That is where the spirit of forgiveness comes in. The Lord's prayers states in two different versions:

"...forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors..." (or) "...forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us..."

You see, GOD will never fail us nor forsake us. We can TRUST him with every aspect of our lives. I find comfort in the truth knowing that when others may fail us and violate our trust..... we can be assured that God will never do such a thing. Yes, we need to learn to always trust the Lord with all our heart and lean not unto our own understanding... this is FOUNDATIONAL in our personal relationship with Christ. After all, if we cannot trust God, then WHO can we trust?

In whom are you putting YOUR trust????

The Value of True Friendship

Dear Reader,

I've been doing much pondering over the past few weeks since my last blog. I continue to suffer from chronic health issues which I won't go into here. Many questions linger regarding the "whys and wherefores" concerning so many issues surrounding my illness including the acceptance of new physical limitations being forced upon me.

I was talking with a very dear friend of mine the other day. We have been mutually very supportive of each other over the past several years. One thing about this friend is that she is a "straight shooter" and tells it like it is. I don't always like to hear what is being said and yet deep down in my heart, I know that her intuition and objective perspective regarding the issue being discussed is usually correct.

We had one of those discussions the other day and I must say that I have been reflecting upon our conversation. One of the issues that we discussed was that of giving into a "victim's mentality". I had never viewed myself as giving into that emotion however, as I have been reflecting upon the thoughts shared by my friend, I realize that I WAS entertaining a victim's mentality regarding my illness and difficult situation that I find myself in.

Since our conversation, I have become more aware of this tendency in my life and am searching God's Word for answers. Life is not always fair and problems, sickness, sorrows, disappointments, changes, etc... all occur sometimes in an instant and leave us feeling totally out of control.

After talking with my friend, I realized that part of the problem was that it was I who was attempting to be in control instead of allowing GOD to control my life and situation. When suddenly faced with a situation in which I had NO control is when I began to entertain the "victim mentality"... feeling sorry for myself and constantly focusing upon the things I could no longer do instead of focusing on the things that I still CAN do as well as those things God desires to do in my behalf if I let Him.

I thank God for a friend who is willing to be a "straight shooter". It is always easier to say what a person WANTS to hear instead of what they NEED to hear. My friend cares enough to share with me what I NEED to hear even though it may be difficult at the time.

How about you?? Do you have a friend who cares enough to tell you the TRUTH?? If so, are you willing to listen and accept the truth even though it may not be pleasant to hear or do you get defensive?? What kind of friend are YOU??? Are there people in your life that need a TRUE friend??? If so, are YOU willing to be that true friend and stand in the gap??

Our society today is in short supply of "TRUE FRIENDS". It is not easy to be one and certainly not easy to find one. If you have a true friend, count yourself very blessed and strive to be a true friend in return.

On the other hand, if you find yourself coming up short of true and lasting friends, first I would suggest that you examine what type of friend YOU are because I firmly believe that to have friends one needs to BE a friend. So it is with TRUE friendships, if we expect and desire a true friendship, we need to exhibit that trait in our own lives as well.

Of course, Christ is our greatest friend and he will never fail us nor forsake us, but God knows the importance of having human friendships as well.

Let's not forsake the importance of developing true and caring friendships. It is well worth the effort and creates an environment where we can help one another through this journey called LIFE.