Time of Reflection

Dear Readers,

Today, I've been doing some personal reflecting upon my relationship with family, friends and God. I am very blessed to have a close knit family who love one another despite their differences. We don't always agree, but that is okay, we agree to disagree and yet our love for one another remains constant.

This past year has been a time of mixed emotions ranging from euphoria to depression and everywhere in between. As I look back on my past year's experience, I realize that my focus was misplaced. In recent years, I was blessed with a nice income and material blessings. I was privileged to help others financially as the needs arose as well as giving to charities.

After suffering ill health for the past two years and especially a TIA (mini-stroke) which I suffered in August of 2008, my life changed dramatically. Thus, there have been many struggles as I have learned to cope with these changes and limitations. I was resistant and becoming rebellious against God blaming Him for my misfortune (which I'm ashamed to admit). In anger and disbelief, I prayed to God "... if you truly love me and care about me, I need tangible proof, show me that you love me... " . Over these past several months, God has done just that. Even though I have been unemployed since August 2008, God has provided for us in every way as He continues to display "tangible proof" of such love and caring.

Last Thursday (6/11), we sold our F-150 Pickup which represents the final major asset we've had to sell. It will be enough to get us through the month of June. Since August, we have been taking it one day at a time and doing everything we know to do and leaving the rest to God. Through the generosity of others and the selling of our assets, we've been provided for each and every month.

July 7th, Nita, I and a friend of ours will be going to Mayo's Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota for a diagnosis and treatment of my chronic health conditions. What will happen? Only God knows. I have learned however, to be at peace. What was important to me (material things, career, climbing the corporate ladder, etc... ) no longer have a priority in my life. The first and foremost priority I have in my life now is to be obedient to God. Nurturing my relationships with my family, friends and God are of prime importance.

The things of this world come and go. As the Bible says, ... The Lord gives and Lord takes away, bless-ed be the name of the Lord." So be it.

I wrote a while back about my struggle with learning to cope. I have found that the first step is to surrender my situation and all that relates to it to God. Second, I need to accept my situation for what it is knowing that I will probably never be able to return to the life I once knew. Therefore, I will achieve new goals and fulfill a new purpose in my life as the Lord leads me.

I had to come to a point of accepting the "death" of my old life and embrace my new life for whatever it may include. My good friend who responded to one of my latest posts did much to steer me in the right direction by recommending a book regarding a brain surgeon who suffered a major stroke and made a miraculous recovery. The book is her own account of how she struggled with many of the struggles I am going through today, but only not quite as traumatic. Her story is an inspiration and I thank my good friend for taking the time to respond to my request for suggestions on learning to cope. God uses different people in our lives to help us along our journey and in this particular case, He used my friend.

Are there areas in your life you are struggling with? Do YOU need to take time to reflect? How long has it been since you've had a good talk with God? If you feel distant from God like I did, it's not because He moved, it's because you or I move away from Him. Reach out to Him and He will reach out to you.

Priorities are what we make them. Our future is directly affected by those choices. It's NEVER too late to change course. I KNOW because I did and I'm GLAD I did. If you need to make changes in your life's direction and rearrange your priorities, PLEASE, don't wait too long. None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow.

No matter what perplexities you struggle with today, nothing is impossible with God. He DOES love you and care about you... He is waiting for you to surrender your struggle to Him just like he was doing with me. I encourage you to think on what I have shared and take that step of trust and faith... let God take control.

I regret not having done so sooner. I hope you will decide to give God control of your life and situation sooner rather than later. Life is too short to wait.